Old People at Fry's on Bell Road

Two weeks ago while I was at Fry's Market on Bell Road, an 89-year-old lady ran her car into the back of another car, roared through the parking lot, over a berm, took out a tree, drove over three lanes of Bell, over the median, over three more lanes of traffic and ended up against a palm tree in front of a Mexican restaurant on the other side.

She was driving on a suspended license and had no insurance. I know all this because I had just had my toes done sitting beside the lady that got hit. The victim's car was totalled. No one was seriously hurt, but it made for a darn good story.

I vowed never to go to that store again on Wednesday which is senior citizen's discount day. (And you know Surprise is just full of the old people among whom I do not consider myself.)

Today (a Wednesday) I was running late and didn't want to drive clear across town to the other Fry's. Diet Coke was on sale for the last day at 4 12-packs for $8.48. I couldn't pass up the deal, so I parked way over at the far side of the parking lot and dodged the elderly to get my groceries. I qualified for a 10-cent/gallon discount because I spent over $100 this month. I carefully maneuvered  up to the gas pump and pinged open the tank door.

On the other side of my pump a white car drove up to the pump at the same time as a red convertible pulled up. And here begins the excitement. The two white-haired men both at least 75 years old began hollering that each was there first. Lots of profanity and threats were exchanged. The white car's driver told the red car's driver to pull back or lose the front of his car. The second man told him to put it where the sun don't shine (only he worded it much more explicitly.) Then guy A went over and held guy B's car door closed and hit him through the open window. Guy B pushed A and his glasses flew off and landed under the front of my car where I was frantically pumping gas.

Guy B got out of his car while A was crawling under my car to retrieve his glasses. B's face was bleeding. The female attendant from the booth came over and tried unsuccessfully to break up the scuffle. B pulled out his cell phone and called the police. Mr. A drove his car forward and hit the front of guy B's red convertible. Attendant shouted, "Get his license number!"as A backed up and started to drive off.

I finished pumping my fuel. Got in my car and drove off. I saw nothing that would have settled the argument as to got there first. I wasn't gonna be a witness when they both keeled over from cardiac arrest. Those old geezers are volatile. Who knows when one of 'em could pull out a piece! Arizona is a right-to-carry state, after all.

I'm never going to Fry's on Bell again. I will drive across town to get my bargains next time. Especially on Sr. Citizen Discount Day. Sheesh!