A Rose by Any Other Name...

How important is a person's name? My husband's nephew and his wife are having their first son after 4 daughters. In preparation for the event, they have been deliberating over names. One of their choices is Peter. OMG Why? In my humble opinion, it's just not cute or without teasing potential. The Gooding grandfather suggests naming him Conan. Not after Conan O'Brien but after the super hero, muscleman--whatever. It's a tongue-in-cheek (I think) reference to the Gooding family focus on height and hulk.  Pray for them. Please, please...

I was adopted. My original birth certificate lists my name as Baby Girl. Catchy! Glad my mom felt that Jo Anne was an improvement. I like my name because it's really two in one. The Jo is separated from the Anne by a space and she threw in the capital A. I am thankful for that capital and the e on the end. It distinguishes me from Joan's and Joann's and JoAnn's. One of the few distinguishing things about me, by the way.

Celebraties have a reputation for choosing bizarre names for their off spring--Coco, Apple, Dweeble. Finn. And those are the more conventional ones. Guess if you have lots of money and fame you can name your kid any darn thing you want to. No one on their elite school play ground will beat them up! All their classmates will have ridiculous names too, so it'll be a wash.

But for the rest of us, we must proceed with caution when naming our children. Unless you are wealthy enough and famous enough, your progeny will have to fend off the slings and arrows of peers. They will get bloody noses and split lips--the crap beaten out of them-- if you don't give them an acceptable title.

Not to step on any toes here, but in the present age if you name your kid Hubert or Mortimer or Clyde (for a son) and, heaven forbid, Agnes, Myrtle, or Elveretta (for a daughter) you are asking for some serious therapy sessions down the road. I can say that because my one grandmother was named Goldie Myrtle and the other one was Elveretta Annie...I cannot lie!! Check my genealogy records. These youngsters would be pummeled to a pulp today.

Names determine people's coolness.  It's some kind of a scientific fact, but I don't have the data right at hand. Think of that when you name those babes, people. I realize I'm not telling you any thing you don't already know. But I taught school for years and I've seen all of those new-age nombres that are just cruel. Why would any one name a kid Rainbow Peace Love or Xandericious? Are they crazed?

Some have risen above their names--Barack, Stone, Sergeant, Lady Gaga--  These successful folks survived the perils of play ground and prevailed. So name your kid any thing you want, I guess. But just remember I warned you!