Stage Fright

Public speaking--Why is it so difficult? My husband is a talker--if he is sitting down with someone he knows or feels comfortable with and has some knowledge of his subject (usually--sometimes he talks a lot about stuff he knows nothing of...).

Get him in front of a group, however, and he freezes like a stunned deer in a halogen headlight. I do the same thing. Why? Guess it's the fear of failure or fainting dead away or doing something totally foolish and embarrassing. Whatever it is, it afflicted him last evening.

Rick had to conduct at a baptism. The regular missionary leader was out of town. He did fine and I was so proud of him. But I also felt his pain. His voice quivered, his mouth was stuck in an odd configuration of shock and horror, and he was flushed. There were, of course, changes to the program, delays, last-minute-cancellations, etc. He handled them fine. There was a beautiful feeling there and it turned out splendidly. But it's just like watching my child perform. I hurt when he hurts. I shake when he shakes. Only I'm sitting down witnessing the debacle and, therefore, unable to do much to help.

One thing you need to be aware of is that Rick is an optimist. (You know--in contrast to my pessimism which I affectionately call "realism.") He sees the best in most situations and believes all will be fine. Because of that we have a  family saying, "Everybody likes Rick Gooding." We think it's hilarious! (We're odd, I know.) But it's true. He's likable. He's so ingenuous and sincere that he just oozes affability. (In contrast to my bristly contacerosity...)

After the whole event was over and his knees had stopped shaking, he said as innocently as a child, "Well, that wasn't so bad. I'd much rather conduct than give a talk. I'll be fine conducting."

"Yesss, you willlll, sweetheart!" So positive. Scary events always seem less so after the trauma has passed. I applaud him for his exuberance. I hope he will be more relaxed in the future because my maternal nerves can't handle too many more of these "pieces of cake."