Extricated from Walmart Cart

My grandson had to be cut from the arms of a Walmart cart! I know, it sounds like a joke, but sadly it's not. I was buying school supplies yesterday for the twins. (Their mother is missing out on this rite of passage and

she doesn't even seem to mind. Imagine that!)
So we have our list and the boys are loaded into one of those 18-wheeler double trouble carts made for two. We're careening through the aisles knocking over little old ladies in wheel chairs and rolling over toes. I'm marking off the 16 glue sticks, Fisker scissors, and endless combinations of  Crayola crayons and markers when all of a sudden Rooster says, "Blake is stuck!"

What do you mean Blake is stuck? I hadn't strapped them in the cart, but somehow he had maneuvered himself inside one of the shoulder belts. It's hard to imagine and describe. In my best grandmotherly wisdom, I suggested, "Just get out the same way you got in." Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

I tried making it bigger. I attempted to slip his arms and head beneath the strap. I shoved his head down to his chest and pushed on it only to strangle him and make him choke.

I spied a Walmart worker down the way cutting boxes. "Ahem, could you help us?" I implored. She came over to see the situation. I suggested we use a screw driver to loosen the screws holding the strap.

"Oh, no! We'll cut it," she insisted whipping out her box cutter. She sawed away at the safety webbing with no success. Then a big guy came over offering his take on the surgery. Pushing down with all his brute strength he managed to sever the entrapment loosening the grasp of the belt.

The trip kind of went down hill from there, if you can imagine... We couldn't find the proper back pack. None of the shoes I picked out were acceptable. There was a dispute over popcorn bags. I think I might have stroked out slightly at one point and screamed some obscenity. I'm not clear on the details.

There was swimming, dinner, watching videos and stories to read. One of 'em fell asleep during the merriment. If only it could have been me.

This is the last day of the festivities. We have bike riding and basketball on the agenda. Please think of me as you're moving through your day in control of everything. I've lost the battle on this front.