One of Those...

Have you every had one of those days? You know--you wake up and just know it's not going to be productive and pleasant. Nothing major, mind you. No disaster looming. I just feel blah!

My horoscope only had three stars. I can't remember the message. But even the stars agree--blah!

I could always dust. Oh, please!! I hate to dust. It's futile on Friday, isn't it. I have to clean again on Monday. We never have any visitors and Rick doesn't see dust, so...not so much.

I miss Idaho and my mom. Now, my mom is still alive, but I miss her because she no longer is aware and "with us." She has lucid moments but they are rare, fleeting, and just teasers for what I yearn for. It's like I will have watched my mom die twice by the time she does pass on. I mourn for her now more than I will then. I miss her being funny and cooking home made chicken noodle soup and hamburger casserole. I have her recipes for both, but they don't taste anything like hers when I cook them. I used to say that when she made bread the flavor came from her hands kneading it. It was delicious! 

I won't go through the list of  memories, but I will tell you that with Mother's Day coming, I realize how much I miss her. It wouldn't matter if I were there with her. She's gone! Just appreciate your moms if they are still lucid and with you. All of us moms have faults and flaws, but there is a love there that can't be explained. Any mom worth her salt would give her life instantly for each child. Appreciate and love. It's not about the gifts or the dinners or even the cards. It's about the memories and the love that you never appreciate enough until it's gone.