Blech! Before we went to our daughter's last weekend I knew the milk was fast reaching the expiration date. We drank all we could but I didn't throw it out. Seemed like such a waste and I--well--I forgot. The date on the jug was May 03...yesterday, right! So I ate cereal with the afore-mentioned milk yesterday. Fine! Didn't think about it again.
This morning I used the last of my All Bran. You know, you get those powdery crumbs at the bottom of the box. (I don't like those, but they fell in and I figured I'd suck 'em up--literally.) So I sliced the banana and poured on the skim milk. I caught a whiff of not-so-fresh milk, but I thought it was just the part around the lip of the jug that sometimes doesn't smell so sweet. Put the cereal on the table and sat down with the Arizona Republic ready to consume. The cereal was gelled. It coagulated. Obviously, I can rationalize like nobody's business. I told myself it was the powdery stuff in the All Bran that had soaked up the milk. I continued to eat for a minute. Then I sort of began to realize (duh!) that the cereal had become a pudding of poo. Argh!
I got to the fridge and grabbed the milk. Stumbled to the sink to pour it out. It glurged in a gloppy, slightly solid stream into the sink. It did not smell sour. I swear. It was just the consistency of gravy. My stomach lurched. (And continues to lurch as I write.) I disposed of the mass that lay quivering in the bowl.
Please don't let this come back up. Please let me forget this disaster. I want to scrub my tongue. I want a do-over. I hate wasting food, so I made myself think it was OK. I am really stupid.
Drink more Diet Coke. Keep busy. Pray this leaves my stomach fast and goes on without incident. I realize you might not enjoy reading about this. But get over it! If I write about it maybe it will be better. And just maybe you will take my experience to heart and NEVER try to salvage milk that you suspect is the slightest bit bad. Walk away from the milk whose date has reached its expiration point no matter what!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
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7 comments:
Ugh!!!!
You poor thing!
Oh that sounds terrible!
Mmmm Diet Coke fixes everything.
Ick! I suggest drowning the memory in ice cream. Works every time.
Okay so you made me laugh...sorry. Kinda funny. Scott had a similar experience when he was little. They were camping with his step mom and it was late at night and they were eating dinner. Scott started to drink the cup that his step-mom had handed him. He then asked if this was lemonade. She replied "no its milk......oh no the milks gone bad". YUCK!
Funny story - I can't tell when milk has gone bad. I drank almost a half gallon of bad milk (in one day) while I was pregnant with my first. My husband came home from work and said "What on EARTH is that smell?" He still makes fun of me at every opportunity. I tell him he's my royal food taster from now on.
Pudding of Poo, I'm on the floor rolling. I have done this myself at times as I love milk. So glad you didn't get sick. Sea Witch
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