Why Do I Worry?

With all of the major disasters in the world, with all the tragic accidents and diseases and deaths in the world, with all the true heartache and sorrow why, please tell me, do I worry so much? It's ridiculous and I realize that in the logic of daylight. I know it's a sin, it's an insult to God, and it's a waste of my divine talents. I know that intellectually, oh yes!

But in the wee hours of the morning, in the lone times in my day, in the shower and making the bed I worry. I worry about everything. I watched "Monk" yesterday. He worries too, but he does it as a plot on a fictional tv show which uses his worry as a comic device. When I worry it's not humorous or money making. It's pointless.

Rick is headed to work today with the possibility that he will have to mechanic instead of delivering golf carts. The man who left when Rick was hired is returning from Hawaii and is getting the job back, I guess. Rick is working at something he doesn't like to do just so we will have income. I love him for that. I hope he doesn't have to mechanic. I hope that he will be able to continue to do the job he loves. He likes delivering golf carts to senior citizens in snowbird land. I try not to worry about this. Rick is the best of men. He loves me when I am such a putz. He loves me when I gripe and snipe and worry. He loves me when I'm bitchy. He deserves some kind of award.

Every day I wake with the intent of being a much better person than the day before. Every day I wither in the face of that challenge. I just can't maintain the intensity after a few hours. I regress right back to the same slightly shlumpy person I was the day before. Why do I do that?

I felt the earthquake that hit in Mexacali, MX, yesterday. The curtain was swaying and water in the swimming pool was sploshing and splashing around in waves. I felt a tremble as I lay on the couch and tried to get over the flu while watching a "Monk" marathon. I'm thankful that the quake wasn't any closer. I don't want to worry about cracks in the house or cracks in our heads. One more thing I don't want to worry about. Please!